LinkedIn - You Are Doing Wrong!

I’m an old hand at this. I’ve been connected for majority of my life, thanks to some quality time spent trolling AOL chatrooms, typing my teen depression away on Livejournal, and blankly gazing at pal requests from strangers on Friendster and old Myspace.

I’ve been plugged in– in one means or an additional– considering that 1997. After dedicating 16 years of my life, and the totality of my occupation, to this bad boy, it’s safe to I can tolerate practically anything when it concerns social networks.

I’ve built a thick skin, gradually however surely, out of baby photos and # YOLOs and # TBTs and auto-DMs and Farmville requests. I’ve weathered countless elections, national debates, spiritual arguments, fights between pals– all online and all without batting a lash. I’ve seen memes come and go, unlimited reshares of George Takei’s Facebook posts, # teamfollowback accounts follow, unfollow, and re-follow me in a vicious, perpetual cycle. I don’t mind that exact same Funfetti dip dish being shared actually countless times on my Pinterest feed, due to the fact that it looks scrumptious and I keep implying to make it.

So, all these years years of online task makes me resistant to anything and every little thing about social media? Right? Wrong.

Due to the fact that of LinkedIn.

LinkedIn, you are doing it wrong.

This is my open letter to you, LinkedIn, and I hope you discover something from it.

Logging into LinkedIn, the Internet’s biggest expert networking platform, is like opening a can of worms. Every single time. It’s an experience that is rather unlike other– simultaneously scary and funny. It is, without a question, the most absurd experience a human being can have on the Internet.

Each time I log in to my LinkedIn account, I cross my fingers and hope that possibly, just perhaps, I won’t come across the same man from Australia who’s creeped my profile every month for a year without ever before sending a request to link. Not that I ‘d accept; I ‘d just like to understand what it has to do with my profile that obliges him to revisit it regular monthly.

Have I met you? No? Well, then, why are you sending me a message asking me to recommend you? What are you potentially good at besides discovering strangers and inquiring to make a blind professional referral on your behalf? Is “psychic” one of the skills noted on my LinkedIn? Nope, I do not see it there, but– oh wait, a vision is concerning me, you are promoting me for my psychic powers right this very 2nd. I knew everything along.

No, you are not a social media guru, jedi, rock star, wizard, ninja, or princess. God assist me if you genuinely are the daughter of their royal highnesses the King and Queen of Social Media or a Padawan with a truly tight start-up idea, however chances are, you’re not. You are a manager, a strategist, an analyst, an expert. Act like it.

I do not wish for to scroll with a relatively nonstop list of your whole work history. Do you want me putting a completely detailed task description of that summertime I worked at the Texas City Movies 12? When I worked at Blockbuster? Those insignificant tasks that have no bearing on my existing professional life? No? Didn’t think so.

Stop writing your LinkedIn profile in 3rd individual. Exactly what, did you call somebody to compose it for you? I mean, ain’t nobody got time for a great deal of things, but you have time to write a bio about yourself, right? If being on Facebook for eight years has actually instructed me anything, it’s that individuals like blogging about themselves. In first person. (If you have time to copy and paste your last speaking engagement bio onto your LinkedIn profile, you’ve got time to switch up the POV. Begun.).

LinkedIn, stopped attempting to get me in trouble. I enjoy my job. Exactly what makes you think I’m prepared to jet out the door? No, I do not wish to work at Child’s Play or pack up my spouse and cat and book it to Des Moines. No, thanks, I enjoy my life, my task, Houston. You’re being messy, and I don’t choose it.

LinkedIn, you need to be a location of genuine conversation, connections, and promotions. You ought to be a sanctuary for trustworthy, truthful info and a place where professionals can broaden a network in natural, reputable means. I say “no more” to “I ‘d like to include you to my expert network on LinkedIn” and forced recommendations from total and utter strangers, “no more” to all those Twitter ninjas and SEO enthusiasts, “no more” to the “Taylor’s bible is the AP Stylebook.” prowling around in 3rd individual in any even more bios.

LinkedIn, you’ve been around for more than a years. If you’re ever visiting want my endorsement, it’s time to form up or deliver out.

Taylor Grobelny

August 5, 2013

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